I farted and my girlfriend says it smells bad

I fart and my fan blows it directly into my face even when I am under the covers. She said it smells like eggs. She makes the cutest face when she cringes her nose at my disgusting farts.

By the way, my girlfriend said all of this and told me to write it and post it on a blog since my blog is supposedly anonymous. She commanded me! Just kidding. I volunteered after she commanded me. She wrote the first three sentences through speaking and my typing. Now I am going to do a search for images of farts on the internet and post a picture of a fart along with this blog. What color would you imagine a fart is? I guess we’ll find out once I post it. By the way, if you want a ton of free and immediate laugh, type “fart” or maybe even “poot” in Google and search for it and then click on images. I couldn’t decide on one image so I’m going to post multiples. Enjoy the poots!

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I am the creator! Okay, maybe not THE creator, but A creator.

I have been thinking about it and have come to the decision that I want to be a creator. I always have wanted to be a creator. I have been wasting my entire life thinking about money, if the room is clean, if the dishes are put up, how to clean out my storage space, how to cut back on the expenses, blah, blah, blah, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, and I’m tired of it. It has cost me years and years of life that I could have been spent being creative and composing, writing, building, designing architecture, painting, drawing, whatever the fuck I want to do as long as it’s creative! I am just tired of it. I think I am at the point that I am going to be like the “birds of the air” like Jesus says in the bible verse in Matthew and just do what I am best at doing and what I feel like I am put here to do (aka my “calling”) and see if I am taken care of or not. I may end up losing my home, my car, my fat (that would be a good thing to lose), my “friends”, etc., but I just don’t want to waste any more time on all of these other things that don’t matter to me at all. I may change my mind once I don’t have the things that I need every day of my life to have food and such but we’ll just wait until that happens and see. I’ve got the whole wide world (marble) in my hand!Image

Okay, fine. I’ll give credit to a blogger. Michael Jackson didn’t invent the “moonwalk”.

I don’t usually give credit to blogs as much as articles because they have so much leeway with what they can say but this blog post was very impressive with video links and everything included!

http://music.yahoo.com/blogs/stop-the-presses/invented-moonwalk-hint-wasn-t-michael-jackson-160105107.html

By the way, I love Michael Jackson as a performer!

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Yahoo “News” – Is it false advertising or slander? Probably neither. Damn those “blogs”!

Is a misleading or even completely incorrect title such as “Jamaal Franklin’s bizarre dunk may be a sign good luck is finally on San Diego State’s side” or a link to the story with the title “Dunk might be the weirdest of the year” or “Really weird NCAA dunk” counted as false advertisement or slander? Oh wait. It’s just a blog so it’s totally legal. Good think, Yahoo! We LOVE when it’s legally okay for you to do something and you trick us into reading an article… uh, excuse me… I mean blog that doesn’t have much, if anything, to do with the title(s). Yahoo News… your source for making them money and wasting your time by clicking on stories that are total bologna.

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Is it me or is Karen Alloy, aka spricket24 on youtube, absolutely GORGEOUS?!

Karen Alloy, aka spricket24, aka karen24alloy, on youtube is absolutely GORGEOUS! I love redheads with fair skin and a bubbly personality and a beautiful face and in shape and these, too. (o )( o) Seriously though, without being a complete pervert, isn’t she just wonderful? I love her as much as I can love a youtube person that I’ve never met. She’s Amy Adams but less famous and bigger tatas. Sorry, I can’t help it! I’m thinking with my other head right now. TMI?

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To resign or not to resign… Just kidding. I’m DEFINITELY resigning!

How does this resignation letter sound to all of you? I will be shipping all of my work equipment that I used to work from home to work via a courier and this resignation will be included as part of the package. Some of the names have been changed once again to protect the guilty.

Massa,

During the latter portion of my medical leave of absence this past weekend, I considered what to do regarding your denial of my request to keep my original job duties because of my medical issues. As you know, I have high sensitivities, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder, ADHD, and other issues which create specific necessities for me in the work place environment. Since the new duties that were created as part of my new job description would cause undue stress and harm to me, I have no other choice but to tender my resignation, effective immediately.

All work equipment owned by Horizontal Disorder including a laptop, two flat screen monitors, wireless keyboard, wireless mouse, wireless adapter, mouse pad, and all wires have all been returned in this courier delivery. Please have accounting send the necessary forms for me to fill out to continue my health insurance using COBRA.

Thanks,

Your Ex-Slave

This cartoon is not part of my resignation, by the way. I just thought I would post it because I enjoy visuals. 🙂

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