I have been thinking about it and have come to the decision that I want to be a creator. I always have wanted to be a creator. I have been wasting my entire life thinking about money, if the room is clean, if the dishes are put up, how to clean out my storage space, how to cut back on the expenses, blah, blah, blah, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, and I’m tired of it. It has cost me years and years of life that I could have been spent being creative and composing, writing, building, designing architecture, painting, drawing, whatever the fuck I want to do as long as it’s creative! I am just tired of it. I think I am at the point that I am going to be like the “birds of the air” like Jesus says in the bible verse in Matthew and just do what I am best at doing and what I feel like I am put here to do (aka my “calling”) and see if I am taken care of or not. I may end up losing my home, my car, my fat (that would be a good thing to lose), my “friends”, etc., but I just don’t want to waste any more time on all of these other things that don’t matter to me at all. I may change my mind once I don’t have the things that I need every day of my life to have food and such but we’ll just wait until that happens and see. I’ve got the whole wide world (marble) in my hand!