The true starving artist

I know I need money to live but I just don’t care anymore. I’m going to quit trying so hard to figure out a way that I can make money and just do the things that I feel like I am put here to do which are all creative endeavors. I’ve wasted most of my life trying to figure out a way to stay above water while suffering in jobs that I hate and wasting all my time thinking about how to make money so I can just survive doing them. It’s a vicious cycle and I am going to break that cycle and see what happens. I may end up dirt poor living on the street with no insurance or clothes or anything but I just am tired of it and don’t care too much anymore at this point. Well, that’s not 100% true. I really do care. I wish I could have some money and get it much easier than the stress it causes me but I can’t. I just don’t think it’s worth it anymore at all. I am just going to make plans throughout the day to compose music, write some songs, do some creative writing, possibly some autobiographical writing, come up with inventions, design some architecture, draw a sketch, paint a painting, do some other type of art, make a stained glass piece, start an antique or art collection, etc. I will make plans to do creative things throughout the day rather than waste another second thinking about money and how I can ever possibly make enough going by the rules of this world. I guess I am saying that I am going to purposely become a starving artist. That could be a good thing. I could watch less television and movies and also lose a few pounds. I probably will become much healthier by doing this. Well, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. Actually, we won’t have to wait that long because I am going to start doing this tomorrow. It will take a while to find out how much I’ll lose or gain by doing this though. Hopefully I can stick with it. Let’s see if I am brave enough to do it. I’m beginning to think that I’ve had it backwards all along. Maybe being a “starving artist” is not a literal thing. I was the one that was truly starving by missing out on my art and soul in my life. By doing this then I will finally be fulfilled again and not hungry for my true calling anymore. The artist that is not able to do his art is the one that is truly starving.

The true starving artist

Creative bipolar highly sensitive person musician needs land house home (As close to Marietta Georgia as possible)

This is a craigslist ad that I posted just now trying to change my life around:

I am a creative person (musician, artist, composer, actor, writer, inventor, etc.) with bipolar disorder and I also consider myself an HSP or a “highly sensitive person” as the psychological book The Highly Sensitive Person describes it. I am unable to work at a normal job because of many factors but I do feel that I have many positives to offer the world. The problem is that I am unable to concentrate on doing anything that I actually have a talent for when I am constantly worrying about having the basics in life. What makes it even worse is that if I try to get a simple job, a part-time job, a corporate job, or any regular job just to try to make ends meet it causes me so much anguish that I am unable to do anything besides the job. I am unable to concentrate at all outside of work and I get so stressed that I am so tired when I get off work that all I can do is go to sleep. All of this is explained in Jungian psychology or if you read about someone with bipolar disorder. If you read the book called The Highly Sensitive Person it says that having a job that any other regular person could do causes a person like me to have what is equivalent to post traumatic stress disorder just by having the job. Anyway, after explaining all that, I pretty much am asking if someone can help me to get a me a place to live that I own that I know I can stay there forever and the deed is in my name so I won’t have to worry about the basic necessities of life anymore. That is truly the only way that I can become a contributing member of society with my sets of positive and negative temperaments. If anyone can lead me in a direction to make this happen, actually give me a place to live even if I have to fix it up, maybe a piece of land even if I have to build my own house by hand, or even help me to start some sort of organization that will help people like me to own their own place for free, then I would be very happy, excited, and appreciative beyond belief. You can contact me via the anonymous email link at the top as to keep people from spamming me or call me on my business phone which I am writing phonetically so that no one can spam me at sicks-sevin-ate too-sevin-ate nein-too-sicks-too.